/linked/2017/02/21/stern-female-digital-assistants

Comments

Shake it around:
Siri lets you change its voice.


I personally want the "Brooklyn Jewish Mom" voice for my assistant, with the "invective" option enabled.
12:08 am — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
To Be Fair:
![https://morbotron.com/meme/S03E05/1137886.jpg?b64lines=IEhhdmUgeW91IGFueSBpZGVhIGhvdyBpdAogZmVlbHMgdG8gYmUgYSBmZW1ib3QuLi4KIGxpdmluZyBpbiBhIG1hbmJvdCdzCiBtYW5wdXRlcidzIHdvcmxkPw==](https://morbotron.com/meme/S03E05/1137886.jpg?b64lines=IEhhdmUgeW91IGFueSBpZGVhIGhvdyBpdAogZmVlbHMgdG8gYmUgYSBmZW1ib3QuLi4KIGxpdmluZyBpbiBhIG1hbmJvdCdzCiBtYW5wdXRlcidzIHdvcmxkPw==)
12:41 am — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
nononono:
when your digital assistant sucks, you want it to be a woman.
1:45 am — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
anonymous:
I don't care if it's a man or a woman voice.

Just do basic shit. And while you are at it do basic shit without needing an internet connection.

Google wins for functionality so eat a fat dick Siri.

I don't care what you sound like as long as you work.

This is nonsense bullshit.
8:53 am — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
anonymous:
> And why do these hunks of plastic and electronics need to be assigned a gender at all? My Amazon Echo doesn’t have any reproductive organs.

No, it doesn't have reproductive organs, but it has a *voice*, you moran.
1:48 pm — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
anonymous:
>I personally want the "Brooklyn Jewish Mom" voice for my assistant, with the "invective" option enabled.

That would drive too many people to suicides and Apple would somehow end up being liable.
3:04 pm — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
jimothy:
I'm triggered by the implication that there are only two genders. I am going to hashtag so hard until my digital assistant is available in 57 gender varieties. At least.
3:36 pm — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
anonymous:
I'm offended that I can't say "Hey Ze" or "Hey Zur" or "Hey Ziri".

Oh well, I'm off to chug a gallon of bleach.
4:03 pm — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
jimothy:
Further, what do reproductive organs have to do with gender? You can be any gender you want to be, and anyone who disagrees is a transsiberianislamahomephobe!
5:59 pm — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
catfood:
that read like the product of a writer with a deadline and no solid ideas for a topic.

not disrespecting, mind you. been there done that.
6:24 pm — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
anonymous:
If Siri has a female voice:

Special snowflake cries misogyny.

If Siri has a male voice:

Special snowflake cries misogyny.

There is no pleasing these fucktards. They will find anything to complain about regarding anything. This is so incredibly pointless.

Remember folks, everything is misogynistic, everything is racist, everything hurts my feelings, and we need to point it all out. Because we are worthless cunts. Now give me money.

Meanwhile, in other news, men are actually working. Building the shit that these bitchy cunts like Gruber need to live.
8:08 pm — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
catfood:
*Meanwhile, in other news, men are actually working*

misogynist.
8:20 pm — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
anonymous:
Hey catfood next time you leave your parents basement and go outside, take a look around at the shit actually being built in the world around you.

Your house, built by men.

Get a new roof installed, not a woman in sight.

Hey who's building that bridge across the river? Not any women.

Who was the architect that designed that, chances are it was a man not a woman.

Who answered the phones and scheduled appointments? A woman.

Who designed that shitty video game and bitched about everything in life and hates men while asking for money for doing nothing? A woman.

The only thing men can't do is give birth and wean a child. The only things that women can't do are just about everything a man can do.

So get over it crazy cat lady. Go feed your herd of cats. And take them to the vet every now and them, who is most likely a woman because being a human doctor was too difficult.

Misogynist enough for your delicate sensibilities yet? Cause I can keep going on and on.
9:20 pm — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
catfood:
humor gets lost in comments threads, i guess.
10:15 pm — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
To Be Fair:
>Hey catfood next time you leave your parents basement and go outside, take a look around at the shit actually being built in the world around you.


Yeah, none of that has anything to do with systemic sexism at all.
10:19 pm — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
jimothy:
To Be Fair, I've been meaning to ask you: What are your preferred pronouns?
10:30 pm — Wednesday, 22 February 2017
John Rodham Gruber:
>Yeah, none of that has anything to do with systemic sexism at all.

Anytime idiots like you say something is "systemic," you've lost the argument. Try rendering a cogent thought or two because right now you look systemically stupid.
9:38 am — Thursday, 23 February 2017
catfood:
*Try rendering a cogent thought or two*

anytime idiots like you say something is 'cogent,' you've lost the argument. try rendering a systemic thought or two.
4:30 pm — Thursday, 23 February 2017
Shake it around:
Why doesn't Siri have a male cross-dressing transgender prostitute voice? Hangover fans want to know.
4:36 pm — Thursday, 23 February 2017
John Rodham Gruber:
>anytime idiots like you say something is 'cogent,' you've lost the argument. try rendering a systemic thought or two.

That wasn't funny or clever, it was just stupid. Congratulations, you, too, are an idiot.
9:20 am — Saturday, 25 February 2017
Donald Gruber:
This is why the Mac is going down the tubes. While Joanna Stern should be writing about how Tim Cock is screwing the pooch with the pro Mac lineup, she's instead wasting energy on some half-rate drivel about female digital assistant voices.
9:22 am — Saturday, 25 February 2017
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